


politics & preservation

by ladydetective



Category: Book of the Ancestor Series - Mark Lawrence
Genre: Convent Politics, F/F, Missing Scene, Post Red Sister
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:09:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27425491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladydetective/pseuds/ladydetective
Summary: Post Red Sister missing scene.When Kettle's right to stay in the Convent is questioned after she's pushed into the Shadow, Apple won't stand for it.
Relationships: Sister Apple/Sister Kettle (Book of the Ancestor)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	politics & preservation

**Author's Note:**

> In Grey Sister, it's mentioned that there was a big debate about whether or not Kettle could stay at the Convent. This is my attempt at writing that scene! Hope you enjoy.

Apple leaned over Kettle’s body, barely enough energy left to keep herself upright. It was bitterly cold - if they stayed out here much longer, the icy wind would kill them long before any injuries. She took off her own cloak and wrapped it firmly around the other woman. She would have no need for it if Kettle did not make it through the night. 

Her lover was still breathing, if only just. Pushing her into the shadow had saved her from the poison, but the knife wound in her side was still severe. She knew she probably should, but at this very moment, she felt no guilt whatsoever for the measures she had taken to save the other woman’s life. Kettle was her whole world - she could not imagine her life without her in it. 

Help was coming - they needed only to survive long enough for it to get here. The mission had gone poorly enough that the Convent would send out people to look for them. She only hoped they would hurry - it was so cold, and she was so tired. Using so much of her power at once had bled her dry. She brushed an exhausted hand over Kettle’s face - worryingly pale, but still beautiful - before succumbing to her body’s relentless cry for sleep.

* * *

  
When Apple next awoke - hours or potentially even days later, she did not know - she had a splitting headache. It was as if her brain was trying to beat its way out of her skull. She’d been in pain after overtaxing her abilities before, but never to this extent. The bright light of the sanatorium certainly was not helping. 

The sanatorium. She was back at Sweet Mercy! She sat up in a rush, unprepared for the wave of dizziness that would greet her. She groaned audibly, sagging back onto the pillows.

“Good, you’re awake,” said a voice from the opposite end of the room. Sister Rose. “We weren’t sure when you would. You’ve been out for more than a full day, nearly two.”

“Kettle?” She asked, afraid to hear the answer but desperate to know. 

“Still unconscious. She’ll live,” said Rose cautiously, “But, by the Ancestor Apple, what  _ happened _ to her? She looks like one of the Lightless.”

Relief like she’d never known flooded her system. Kettle would  _ live _ . It hadn’t all been for nothing. “I pushed her into the Shadow. The blade she was stabbed with - it was Noi-Guin. They coated it in some sort of poison. The Black Cure didn’t work on it - I had no other choice.”

A horrified expression crossed Sister Rose’s face. “ _ You _ did this to her?”

“I - she was  _ dying _ in my arms, Rosie.” Her voice constricted as her mind replayed the memory. It was not something she’d forget in a hurry, if ever. As Mistress Shade, she’d seen a great deal of death. She’d thought herself almost immune to it - but nothing could have prepared her for seeing Kettle in that state. Nothing. “What would you have had me do? Just leave her? She’s  _ everything _ to me.”

Rose’s expression softened, but only slightly. “I understand that, Apple, believe me I do. You know I’d go to hell and back for my patients. But do you know what this  _ means _ ? Kettle will forever be denied a seat at the Ancestor’s side. In saving her, you’ve damned her.”

The guilt she’d been repressing until that moment came rushing forward.  _ Ancestor _ . Kettle had asked her not to do it, knowing full well what it would mean. The other woman had never been a zealot along the lines of Sister Wheel, but she was still deeply religious - moreso than Apple herself. She cherished her faith, and would be distraught to be cut off from the Ancestor’s side once her mortal life was over. Had it been selfishness on her own part to beg Kettle to let her save her life? 

She bit back a sob, not wanting Sister Rose to see the internal conflict the sound would suggest. It was done now - there was nothing she or anyone else could do to change it. At least Kettle was alive - Apple could survive with her hating her forever as long as she was alive to do it.

“She’s alive,” she said after a steadying moment. “At least there’s that.”

Rose looked at her with a mixture of sympathy and revulsion. “That she is. But - you should know - many of our Order are not happy with what has happened. Sister Wheel in particular is furious - they’re debating her right to remain at the Convent now that she has been banished from His side.”

White-hot anger boiled in her gut and threatened to erupt. “What,” she said, her voice dangerously low. 

“They’re debating her right to stay here,” Rose repeated, ever patient. “I told them that they should wait until Kettle was at least conscious so she could argue her case, but they were rather insistent, I’m afraid. It should be starting soon.”

“I need to be there.” She got out of bed, ignoring her still-pounding head. It ached worse than it had when she woke up - doubtless, the anger was not helping. Another thing to blame Wheel for.

“You only just regained consciousness yourself,” Rose protested, feebly. She must have realised the fruitlessness of her argument, because she did not try to stop her. “At least let me accompany you - Ancestor knows some  _ reasonable _ voices will be needed.”

Apple didn’t bother protesting. She moved over to Kettle’s bedside and took the other woman’s hands in her own. Without caring who saw - the room was not deserted, as both Sister Rose and a number of injured novices were present - she pressed a kiss to her lover’s forehead. “Stay strong, my love,” she whispered. “I’m going to sort this out.”

* * *

  
Apple strode to the meeting room with thunder in her gait. Rose struggled to keep up, and she was breathless by the time they arrived. It was good they made their entrance when they did, for it appeared the Council was already in session. Another junior Sister - not Kettle, for obvious reasons - was taking minutes. 

Abbess Glass looked up, some traces of surprise breaking through her usually impenetrable expression. “Sister Apple - it is good to see you out of bed. I was told you were too ill to attend.”

“Up until about fifteen minutes ago, she was. She only just woke up. I would have told you otherwise, Abbess.”

Apple was in no mood to stand on ceremony. “Were you all really going to debate the right of my - of  _ Sister Kettle _ ,” she just about caught herself from saying words that would get her into serious trouble, “to remain here, without either or us even present?”

“Among other things,” responded the Abbess. “We had no way of knowing when you would regain consciousness, and some of our number,” her eyes flickered to Wheel and back, “thought this matter of so great an import that it could not wait.”

“Yes, well,” said Wheel, gearing herself up for what could only be one of her grand pontifications, “It is a simple question, with an obvious answer. Sister Kettle - though she may no longer deserve the title - has been pushed into the Shadow. Her soul has been lost to us, and she will never be welcome at the Ancestor’s side. Thus, she cannot be permitted to remain in His sanctuary. She must be made to leave, and leave at once.”

Apple’s temper, already short, began to fray even further. She could have guessed that Wheel would be insufferable - she’d never liked Apple, and approved of their relationship even less. What was more alarming, however, was the murmur of agreement from other nuns that followed Mistress Spirit’s words. 

“She would have died if I hadn’t done it. When I found her in that clearing, she was little more than a ghost - the poison on the blade was killing her. She took that wound doing her duty and defending one of our novices - surely you aren’t saying that she should have died instead.” Her voice was impassioned - she could see her words taking effect on some of the assembled nuns, but she feared it was not enough. 

“Yes,” spat Wheel, her temper seeming to match Apple’s. “In service to the Ancestor, death is but a kiss. You have prevented her from ever entering the loving embrace of the Ancestor when she  _ does _ leave this world.” The murmured assent from Wheel’s faction grew only louder - even those she would expect to usually be on her side, like Abbess Glass and Sister Rose, looked grim.

There would be no convincing Wheel. Pushing down her own guilt at the fate she subjected her lover to, Apple changed tactics. She turned to Sister Rose, hoping the other woman would demonstrate some of the understanding she had shown in the sanatorium - and that her empathy would outweigh her revulsion. “Sister,” she said, her voice pleading, “Surely you cannot fault me for saving the life of one of our Sisters, after she so nobly endangered it by defending a novice.”

Rose looked at her, a deep sadness in her expression. Healing was not Apple’s strongest marjal talent, but she could work it at a very basic level. She frequently helped the other woman in the sanatorium, and they had a strong working relationship. “No, Sister,” said Rose softly, “I cannot fault you for that. But I  _ must _ take issue with your methods - we have no way of knowing what Kettle’s quality of life will be like now, and, as Sister Wheel has pointed out, her chances of a happy afterlife have been greatly reduced.”

Dread coiled in her gut. If Rose and Wheel were in agreement, it spelled almost certain doom for Kettle. Regardless of whether or not the Abbess supported her - and Apple believed she might - the Sisters Superior could overrule her decision. Still, she had to try and appeal to their leader - the older woman’s word held a great deal of authority, and she could sway some of the other nuns to their side if it came down to a Convent-wide vote. 

She turned to the Abbess, choosing her words carefully. “The Noi-Guin are some of the most accomplished killers in the Empire.  _ Sister _ Kettle,” she could not resist emphasising the other woman’s title in response to Wheel’s attempt to take it from her, “for good or ill, now possesses some of the traits of one. She was already our most talented Sister of Discretion - the feats she could accomplish with these new… abilities… would allow her to serve the Ancestor even more successfully.”

It sickened her to talk of Kettle as nothing more than a tool to be used. Her lover was brilliant and accomplished and deserved to stay in the place that had been her home for more than fifteen years on her own merit, not because she  _ may _ prove useful in the future. But the Abbess was a practical woman, and may be swayed by such an argument. 

Glass stared directly into Apple’s eyes, as if in contemplation. She knew then that her argument had broken through - though as spiritual in her own way as Wheel and Rose, Glass had other responsibilities. Through the Grey reports, she knew just how instrumental Kettle was to their operations and likely now saw how much more she could do in the future. She was also not a heartless woman - she’d taught Kettle as a novice, and was fond of her. She would not want to throw her out into the cold. The question was - would she consider it a worthwhile cause to champion? Openly setting herself against both Sisters Superiour was a dangerous move, one she may not consider worth the risk. 

“I agree with Sister Apple,” she said, finally. “Sister Kettle has served us diligently for many years, and is still a young woman. It would have been a great tragedy if she received the Ancestor’s kiss before her time, and I can understand Mistress Shade’s impulse to do whatever she could to save her.”

Apple could not deny the relief she felt at hearing the other woman’s words. Yet, she was unsure of the difference they had made. Many of the assembled nuns seemed shocked, and the Sisters Spiritual were still arraigned against her. Wheel in particular was near apoplectic with rage.

Mistress Spirit had great respect for the office of the Abbess. The Abbess, after all, was the vessel through which the Ancestor exercised His will at the Convent. She therefore rarely contradicted her in the open - but it appeared that today, she would do just that. 

“Abbess Glass,” said Wheel, venom barely concealed beneath her reverence, “with all due respect, your words are  _ entirely _ misguided. This woman, her past deeds aside, has been  _ torn  _ from the Ancestor’s side. She  _ cannot _ be allowed to reside here, in his safe haven. We are His Chosen, His most ardent devotees. One who has been banished from His embrace cannot remain. She  _ must _ leave.”

The fraying rope that was Apple’s temper snapped entirely. “If she leaves, I will leave too. That much I promise.” She spoke the words in haste, fuelled by her anger, but meant every one of them. She loved Sweet Mercy - loved teaching the novices, loved her Sisters, even loved the daily devotionals. But it was not her home - Kettle was her home. If she was forced out the door, Apple would exit it freely to be with her.

“You  _ should _ go,” said Wheel, filled with righteous indignation. “ _ You _ are the one who condemned her to this fate - in fact, it was  _ you _ who corrupted her in the first place! She was faithful before  _ you _ got your claws into her. You should be thrown from the rock and drowned for your crimes.”

Apple was so angry she was struggling to see clearly. It took all her willpower not to bite back a retort. Wheel had always resented them for their relationship, but for her to hold it over them  _ now _ , when Kettle’s livelihood was on the line? Apple should be at her lover’s bedside right now, holding her hand as she recovered from her injuries. The fact that she had to be here to ensure their right to live at the Convent was beyond frustrating. The threat to her life did not bother her overmuch - the Abbess would not see her executed for her actions, at least. The fact that some of Wheel’s supporters seemed to be in agreement was worrying, however. 

Sister Tallow, perhaps sensing how close Apple was to losing her head, stepped in. “Come now, Wheel. Surely this isn’t worth losing our Mistress Shade over. If Kettle is also gone, as you so ardently argue if favour of, then there is no obvious replacement. We cannot afford that, at a time such as this. War is coming, and we cannot dismiss one of our best generals. Besides, we have no definitive proof that Kettle has been cut off from the Ancestor’s side.” 

Wheel opened her mouth to protest, but Tallow cut her off. “The Book of the Ancestor suggests as much, you are correct. But the Book of the Ancestor was not written by the Ancestor - it was written by men, and men are fallible.” 

The reaction of the room was instantaneous. Wheel and her cohorts were incensed, of course - and for good reason. Tallow’s words bordered on heresy. But not all of the mutterings were negative - some even appeared to agree with her.

Apple felt a rush of affection for the other woman. They’d known one another for years - Tallow had just started out as Mistress Blade when Apple was a novice. She’d even faced her in the final Blade trial, and still had the scars to prove it. After she’d taken her Holy Orders, they’d become firm friends and amiable colleagues. Blade and Shade were intimately entwined disciplines, and they often helped one another out. Still - Apple hadn’t counted on her support. The older woman rarely allowed personal biases to affect her judgement on the Convent table - the fact that she was intervening now meant a great deal. 

“Heresy!” roared Wheel, “Outright heresy! Abbess, you cannot allow this farce to continue!”

But continue it did - the debate raged on for hours on end. The candles that provided the room with illumination melted down to nothing and required replacement - more than once. Everyone was growing weary, but no one was willing to cede their argument. Apple’s head - which had been sore when this all started - now felt like it was going to burst out of her skull. She never stopped fighting, though - and  _ would _ never stop fighting, not with Kettle’s fate still in question. 

Despite her initial silence, Tallow argued almost as hard as Apple. Mistress Blade debated as she fought - relentlessly, and without mercy. It was a wonder to behold. Together, they swayed many to their side. 

It would not be enough - not without Sister Rose’s support. The Sister Superior was not as adamant in her arguments as Wheel - hardly anyone was - and as the debate wore on, she became indecisive. Apple knew the woman - knew that seeing such division in the home that she loved was tearing her apart. It was her instinct to heal, to mend where she could - but this was not something that could be repaired as easily as a broken arm. No matter the outcome, people would be hurt. Apple could only hope the injury would be to Wheel’s pride rather than her or Kettle’s lives. 

“Enough,” said Abbess Glass. The room, which had for the past several hours been a hubbub of raised voices and even more elevated tempers, fell silent. Dawn was breaking across the horizon. “We will take it to a vote. Sisters who wish to see Sister Kettle banished from the Convent - please stand.”

Wheel, of course, stood - as did all of her closest compatriots. Apple would estimate approximately half of the assembled nuns followed her lead. She studied their faces carefully - committing them to memory. They would need to pay very close attention to their meals from now on. 

Sister Rose was not amongst those who stood. Apple felt a traitorous kernel of hope in her chest. It would still be close - but if she voted in their favour, then maybe -  _ maybe _ \- it would be alright. 

Abbess Glass counted carefully. At last, she nodded, wordlessly indicating that the standing nuns may sit back down. “All those who wish for Kettle to remain at Sweet Mercy - please stand.”

Apple stood - proudly, defiantly. She glared at Wheel, and the older woman glared back. The conflict between them would not be easily resolved - she would not forget this day in a hurry, and nor would Wheel. Tallow stood beside her, as did Abbess Glass at the head of the Convent table along with a score of others. If she was counting right, then the two sides were almost exactly even. Her stomach was in knots - this could go either way.

Others started to realise this, too. The tension in the room was so thick you could cut it with a knife - or a greatsword. 

Rose had still not stood. Surely, the Sister Superior would not abstain? Her vote counted for more than almost anyone else’s. She could swing the decision on her own. Apple turned to look at her, silently willing her to see reason. She was not alone in this - Wheel was doing the same. Mistress Spirit opened her mouth, as if to offer a final diatribe. 

Abbess Glass held up a hand, silencing the nun’s interruption before it had truly begun. “No talking until the final votes have been cast.” She was also looking at Sister Rose with interest. 

If the topic up for debate was anything else, Apple would feel sorry for the other woman. The conflict in her expression was genuine. Clearly, she was searching hard for the right solution. At the moment, however, Apple had very little sympathy to offer. 

She closed her eyes, saying a quick prayer to the Ancestor. She and he were not on the best of terms - unlike many of her Sisters, Apple was not truly devout. She said the same prayers and attended the same services as the rest of them, but her faith was not as cast-iron as that of the others appeared to be. Still, though - in times of trouble, there was something comforting in the notion that He was listening to her prayers. 

When she opened her eyes again, Sister Rose was standing. She blinked, making sure she wasn’t hallucinating. A collective gasp echoed around the room - they’d done it. With Rose’s vote, they had a clear majority. 

Abbess Glass nodded. “Very well,” she said, her voice final, “Sister Kettle may stay, and will retain all rights afforded to her as a member of our order.”

Relief washed over her like a tidal wave, so strong it was almost overwhelming. Kettle could stay.  _ They _ could stay. There may be problems ahead for them, but they’d be able to work through them here, in a place that they both loved. That was something. 

Reaction in the room was mixed - some appeared almost as relieved as she felt, whereas others muttered darkly amongst themselves. More still were simply glad the whole affair was over. Apple’s eyes flickered over to Wheel - she spoke to no one, and her expression was thunderous. She had seldom ever seen the other woman so angry - she pitied whatever poor novices Mistress Spirit would inevitably take out her displeasure on come morning. 

Tallow clapped her on the back, jarring her out of her thoughts. “You spoke well today,” she said, a note of appreciation in her voice. 

“As did you. Tallow - thank you. You didn’t have to speak up for us, but you did. I’m grateful.”

Mistress Blade smiled. “Of course I did. The Convent would be much less fun without the two of you around. And besides, who’d poison my enemies for me if you left?”

Apple returned the other woman’s smile, though her heart wasn’t entirely in it. She was exhausted, and her head continued to pound. “I’m sure you’d find a way to convince the next Mistress Shade. She wouldn’t do it with as much style as I would, however.”

Tallow laughed - a deep, booming laugh. “True enough,” she said, before her voice softened. “Go back to the sanatorium. We’re finished here, or will be soon enough. I’ll let you know if anything exciting happens. She’ll want you there when she wakes up.”

She was not so sure of that - Kettle may not even want to see her. But still - she felt drawn to the other woman’s side. She needed to see for herself that she would be alright. Apple nodded, mustering up a final, weary smile for Tallow before leaving.

* * *

  
  
The sanatorium was as she’d left it. Bored novices were milling about, finding ways to while away the time until Sister Rose saw fit to discharge them. They became suddenly silent when she walked in - her reputation was good for some things, she supposed - but she was in no mood to interact with them. She had eyes only for the occupant of the leftmost bed. 

Kettle was still unconscious. This worried her less than it would have earlier, given that Rosie was confident she’d make a full recovery - from the stab wound, at least. Still, after hours at that Ancestor-forsaken meeting, she’d be damned if she spent another moment away from her lover’s side. She pulled up a chair from a nearby bed. She sagged back into it, exhaustion washing over her. Taking Kettle’s hand in her own, she fell into a deep, dreamless sleep. 

* * *

  
Kettle woke up feeling wrong - as if the world was shifting in and out of focus. Everything around her felt corporeal and real, but she did not. Shadows were circling around her, and they were hungry. She shifted her position on the bed, hoping to make it all stop. Pain lanced through her side, and she remembered. 

She remembered the fight with the Noi-Guin, and the sickening sound the knife made as it entered her flesh. She remembered Nona, so young but  _ so  _ brave, refusing to let her die. Lastly, she remembered Apple and the terrible bargain she’d made to save her life. 

Apple. Kettle turned her head to look for the other woman - surely she would be here. She didn’t need to search very hard - her lover was sprawled on a chair beside her bed, fast asleep. Kettle realised then that her lover was holding her hand. It was the only part of her body that didn’t feel like it was being consumed by the Shadow. 

She couldn’t blame Apple for doing what she did. Kettle knew that if the roles were reversed, she’d do  _ anything _ to save Apple’s life. She couldn’t imagine living without the other woman, and she knew Apple felt the same.

So she understood Apple’s decision - she really did - but now she’d have to live with it. 

Beside her, Apple stirred. “Appy?” Kettle said, softly. Her voice was frail from lack of use - she had no idea how long she’d been out. “You awake?”

At the sound of her voice, the other woman bolted upright. “Kettle!” she exclaimed, “you’re awake! I - how are you?”

Kettle grimaced. “Pretty sore. And -” she hesitated, unsure of whether or not she wanted to burden Apple with her fears. She looked exhausted. But it would come out eventually. “I feel - weird. Like I’m not all here.”

Apple’s face crumpled. Mistress Shade was usually a master of the facade, but she could never keep one up for very long around Kettle. “I am so sorry, Kettle. I should never have forced you to go into the Shadow. I just - I couldn’t stand to see you  _ die _ .” 

Kettle tightened her grip on Apple’s hand. “You didn’t force me. You made me an offer, and I accepted. I can’t blame you for that. If your life was in danger, I would do  _ anything _ to save you. Anything.”

“But - you’ve been cut off from the Ancestor’s side. I know how much that means to you.”

That hurt, she couldn’t lie. For all the Convent rules she broke on a regular basis - mostly with Apple - she considered herself to be genuinely faithful. She loved the Ancestor, and did her best to live in his Image. The idea that she may not meet him when her time came was a crushing blow. Still though - there were more important things.

“I would trade an eternity at the Ancestor’s side for one lifetime at yours. Please believe that.”

Apple let out a choked sob. “I love you, so much.”

Kettle cracked a grin. “I love you too.”

A soft cough interrupted them. “If you two are _quite_ done,” said Sister Rose, an exasperated look on her face. “Both of you should be in bed.”

Apple’s face coloured, but she ignored her. “I’ll talk to some of my contacts at the Academy - we’ll work on a way to control...this.” She gestured to the Shadows that were still coalescing around Kettle. 

She opened her mouth to respond, but was once again interrupted by Rose. “Bed! Both of you! This is my sanatorium, and you will abide by my rules. Get some rest.”

Apple rolled her eyes, but stood. She pressed a soft kiss to Kettle’s lips, once again heedless of who saw. “Sleep well, my love. We’ve got a long road ahead of us.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked! Please comment and let me know what you think. If you wanna talk about Book of the Ancestor, you can find me on tumblr @applekettle or on twitter @gaelalear


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